Joy is Coming...

I love Christmas. I always have. There is something so magical about the season when people are a little bit happier, a little bit nicer,  and you can feel Christ's love all around. I still really love Christmas, but this year it's just not the same. This year, we were going to have 2 little boys here with us, and it's hard to not think about that while preparing for Christmas. Some of you may remember this summer, I wrote a post on our GoFundMe site about being thankful that I didn't order a stocking for Josiah, so I wouldn't have to hang an empty stocking at Christmas. But, the more I thought about it, I didn't want to just breeze over Christmas without even acknowledging our sweet angel, so I did it. I ordered a stocking for Josiah and hung it right up on the mantel with the others. And you know what? There's something fulfilling about seeing his stocking up with ours. While I'm heartbroken that we don't get to experience this Christmas with Jo

I know... it's been over a month since I've posted anything. Trust me, it's not because I'm not thinking about it... I have about 5 more titles drafted in my dashboard. I just need to be in the right mindset to write and if I am, I need to find enough time to get my thoughts out.  But today, November 19th marks 6 months since we got to hold Josiah, kiss him and tell him we loved him. Half a year. How is that possible? When you experience the the deep loss of a child, time seems to stand still where you are... but somehow the world around you continues to press on at high speeds. If Josiah were here, I'm sure I'd be saying something similar, like... time slow down. He'd likely be sitting up and smiling at his big brother, talking that adorable baby speak that only they would understand. I'd be busy making baby food in preparation of him eating his first "real" meal.  Instead, we finally folded up the high chair that Jonah has sat in and put

My Dear Friends, I’m writing because, first of all I find writing to be therapeutic, and secondly because I know that everyone is wondering how I’m doing, but are just not sure how or when to ask. I can see the questions burning in some of your eyes, but the fear on your face tells me you don't want to cause more pain. I don't know how often I'll update, but I have a few topics I want to have documented, even if no one reads them but me. People are always asking, “So, how are you?” The truth is, there are good days and there are bad days. But mostly, there are mixtures of good days filled with painful moments and those moments can come unexpectedly. When you go through a tragedy you don’t know how you’re going to react, and then adapt to it. People always say “you’re so strong, I could never do what you’re doing.” You know what? I didn’t know this is how I’d handle it either. You never know how you’re going to handle a situation until you’re faced with it. But God p