Christmas with an Angel


I love Christmas. I always have. There is something so magical about the season when people are a little bit happier, a little bit nicer,  and you can feel Christ's love all around. I still really love Christmas, but this year it's just not the same. This year, we were going to have 2 little boys here with us, and it's hard to not think about that while preparing for Christmas. Some of you may remember this summer, I wrote a post on our GoFundMe site about being thankful that I didn't order a stocking for Josiah, so I wouldn't have to hang an empty stocking at Christmas. But, the more I thought about it, I didn't want to just breeze over Christmas without even acknowledging our sweet angel, so I did it. I ordered a stocking for Josiah and hung it right up on the mantel with the others. And you know what? There's something fulfilling about seeing his stocking up with ours. While I'm heartbroken that we don't get to experience this Christmas with Josiah, I'm happy that we are able to remember him and Jonah will always grow up knowing about his younger brother.



After hanging the stocking, I had the idea to start a new tradition with Jonah. Every year at Christmas we've decided to start a gift series called "Gifts from Heaven" something we can give Jonah from Josiah. This year, we found a sweet little book called "God Gave Us Angels" It seemed very fitting for our year and my hope is that we can read this book and Jonah will always remember he has a special angel watching over him.

The other thing weighing on my mind... Christmas Cards. I realized that I needed to decide if I was going to send one out this year. I do it every year. It's something I really look forward to. I was so excited at this time last year to send a card with our new little addition on it! We didn't know if we would have a boy or girl yet, but I knew I wanted baby included on our card. I'm so glad now we included Josiah on last year's card.  It may have easily taken over 50 shots to get the one we put on... and we almost said forget it because we couldn't get Jonah to sit still, but I'm so glad God put it in my heart to push on. It will be a card and photo I'll always cherish.



But this year, I was so torn. We didn't take family pictures this year, as it just didn't seem right. Our family isn't whole. I also felt so cheated... I didn't get to send out a card that had both of my boys on it. Most importantly, I didn't get to sign it like I had practiced once we found out we were having a boy.
With Love, Dan, Amanda, Jonah and Josiah. I never got to include his name in our family signature. I knew I wanted to honor Josiah, but I wasn't sure how. Then, my sister sent me this ornament in the mail... and I knew in an instant this is how we could include Josiah on this year's card.


I searched for the perfect card, and when I found this... it just felt right.



We may not be whole, but we still have so many reasons to be joyful. God sent His only son into this world for us. He knows our hearts, and He feels our pain. He's with us as we remember Josiah and because of Him we know we'll see Josiah again.  We are mourning the fact that we don't get to be a part of Josiah's first Christmas, but he is celebrating in the most wonderful way with our Savior in Heaven. Christmas this year has a new meaning... a more true understanding of how much God loves us that He sent His is son to die for us, something I find so hard to fathom after losing our son. I've focused more on that this Christmas than in any past Christmas and it's really helped me through this season. Merry Christmas dear friends. May you all find God's richest blessings in the new year.


"It's funny how it takes a holiday
To show us how the world could truly change.
If we all took the time to really care
There'd be a little more of heaven everywhere"



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